For you I can be 100% made of sugar so that I will be enough sweet for you. What kind of candy is never on time? Baby I can never get enough of your sweetness like I can never get enough of chocolate. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Theres definitely a change it does to the chemistry of the body. Do you love chocolate or hot cocoa? What did the M&M go to college? Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. Susan Isaacs, The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! Put eat chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. 3. A Kit Kat! A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. It turns out in-prison mint isnt that bad.What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. Because I would definitely want to taste your sweet. Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, Saturday Night Live, As with most fine things, chocolate has its season. Girl youre like a ganache cause you make this cake better just like you make my day better. I dont think theres anything hotter than a chocolate but hey! Do you know why?Son: I dont know. So black kids could get dirty faces too. Health How do you know it's cold outside? Deborah Fox-Rothschild. What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?Decad-ant.Did you hear about the magician that had chocolate in his shirt?He had some Twix up his sleeve.I asked my 7 year old, Why do you have chocolate all over your face?He said, Saving it for leftovers.That boy cracks me up.When is the best time to eat chocolate and marshmallows?In the smorning.Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?Babe Ruth.What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?A Kitty Kat bar.If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?Diabetes.Whats the best part of Valentines Day?The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.What kind of candy is never on time?ChocoLATE.What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?A PayDay.Why did the donut visit the dentist?He needed a chocolate filling.I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasnt that funny. We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. He turned into a box of chocolates. Do you think you need more sweet? Imogen. The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale. The Chocolate Cream Soldier, Arms and the Man, I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. I hate Bounty Hunters. Chocolates can give us a lot of emotions. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! A Double Decker. I'm chocolate to my appointment! Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Hot chocolate. Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates..(Why?) What is a French cats favorite dessert? 84. Nestle Crunk bar. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? I dont understand why so many so called chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. A Skor! I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche. Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes! Chalk, who? Hey Cookie, you're the sweetest. Because youre hot and I want. Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! Dont they actually counteract each other? Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there. Milk Jokes. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: 15+ Easy and Funny Animal Riddles for Kids (with answers) 2023, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, Funny Mum jokes DADS cannot compete against. Game for some sexy chocolate jokes? While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. My pronouns are her/shey. Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. Is that a reflex hammer in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me! A chocolate pun! Chocolate Chewbacca cookies! There is a simple memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A, E, or U is the proper time for chocolate. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? Q: Why dont they make white M&Ms? MOVIE URBAN LEGEND: Roald Dahl hid a dirty joke in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a beloved children's film and one of the things that people definitely love about it is how edgy the whole thing is. "Don't worry, son. God is watching the apples. Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Ill eat anything! Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). . Dark chocolate chimp. To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. She also ate every letter in her name, but left me feeling good: oo! Chocolate fantasy in progress. If you're looking for dirty, lowbrow and totally hilarious deez nuts jokes, you're in the right place! Dear I would pour all the sweetness I have in my body towards you to make you happy. A cad-bury. You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!" Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Because you are as sweet as chocolate. The man says, "And the Viagra?" Now, isnt that handy? Chocolate boosts your immunity and heart health and improves brain function. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born? 9) Looking for Mr. Goodbar: A kid goes to a candy store and can't find his favorite chocolate bar.Chaos ensues. Huh?I opened a Mars bar once.I discovered martians love gin.Life is like a box of chocolatesMostly disappointing.A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.The boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105.The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate?No, says the boy. - You can have chocolate in in public. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. What is a monkey's favorite cookie? I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny dad jokes to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. They believe its the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? Q: How do you know when a complete moron has been making chocolate chip cookies? The tenth lies. It uses Hershey pronouns. The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. The man asks, "Why are you doing that? Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. One kid stepped up and slid down, he wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river. The man wished for a million dollars, and poof! Strength Katharine Hepburn. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate thick.) Darling I will supply you with stash of sweets and my never ending love for you. I love the smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies They smell just like burned toast. What do you call a womanising chocolate? Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Cadbury Egg in her stomach. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. What's the best part of Valentines Day? The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. A: The letters a and o are reversed. With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth. My final hope for a smokin' hot body! To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. How about I make you happy this time? Donut be jelly. Its like chocolate chip cookies, you cant get enough of them. Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Sooner or later I will get diabetes because of your sweetness. I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. Youre hot, and I want to be on top of you. 5. Please sign up with your best email address. John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. Chocoearly. Q: How do you confuse a complete moron? Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. I'm just happy to see you. I reckon its just a Chinese whisper. If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits. There are only three things in life that matter good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one? Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. Hot chocolate. If one swallows a cup of chocolate only three hours after a copious lunch, everything will be perfectly digested and there will still be room for dinner. You make me feel a lot giddier like I have eaten a box of chocolate. You have this ability to make me so happy like only sweet foods can do. 8) No Country for Old Men: An ageism flick about a couple of retired buddies looking to vacation . Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Vegetable Jokes. Chocolate Tessellation inspired me to mix cacao and cocoa alphabetically, but that made me sneeze: aaaccccooo!. Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. And it always feels good. What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" They had a baby, Ruth. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? I love hole foods. Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" To get chocolate milk. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. Are you Willy Wonka? If our research results continue to support a link between consumption of flavanol-rich cocoa and nitric oxide synthesis, there could be significant implications for public health. How dairy steal my chocolate! What does a box of chocolate and life have in common? Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate truffles, Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands and then eat just one of the pieces. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. Q: What happens if you mix hot cacao and hot cocoa by hand? Life is what you bake it. Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. The best of all worlds. I learned to love sweets because of you and I am thankful for that. Babe you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. "Keeps him from falling out of bed. Roblox Rap Battle Roasts Copy And Paste Good agdt Click to copy press down alt for multiple From puns to jokes at your mama's expense, these hilarious rap lyrics prove that rapping and being funny can go hand-in-hand Roblox roasts copy and paste - ds 9% faster on average with a solid-state drive 9% faster on average with a Choose one of the browsed Copy And Paste Songs For Roblox lyrics . Chocolate Jokes. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! "You mean J.C? The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. A: Because it lost its filling Make a list of these one-liners and then roll them out like Maltesers. I can make you so happy with all the stash I have at home. You gave my life thrill just like sweets do to my taste buds. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. Chocolate Day Funny Jokes. The total text used must be less than one paragraph, and the website must give credit to and link back to this page. Enjoy. Being with you is like getting into cloud nine full of sweets. Shock-o-lat. The optimist sees the glass as half full. Cremation. Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. Available on Etsy. A little boy was taken to the dentist. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. While some of the jokes on this list are pretty straightforward (see the Cat's boner-hat at the end), this one really is for the older crowd. If you are a candy bar I promise I would refuse to share you with other people. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. He also suggested cocoa butter for skin treatment, piles and gout. I feel better already with you holding my hand, sweets arent even needed. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Which chocolate candy bar is a cats favorite? What did you guys do? (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. If you were ice cream and i was chocolate sauce, I'd pour my love all over you! A: Because no one wants to quit. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. I have a couple twix up my sleeve. It is well to abstain from chocolate in order to avoid the familiarity and company of a nation so suspected of sorcery [Spain]. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. Whos there? My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby. Donut worry, be happy! Love & Sex Choco-early. I heard you have a stash of kisses in your dorm can i possibly get one from you? No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!. I was going to get you a box of chocolates, but you already have a sweeter box. Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826). When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? Are you chocolate? Bad knees.. 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! Daniel Tosh. Hahaha They're better at it than guys. Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure Almond Joy! Love is a substitute for chocolate. If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. I said, "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. She had Josie 's classic hairdo (complete with a tiny bow), and was a girlfriend of Reggie. Your email address will not be published. When Luke was having trouble eating noodles with chopsticks, Leia said: "Use the forks, Luke." Chewie wanted a biscuit, so Luke gave him a chocolate chip Wookie. Candy, who? Tap To Copy. Q: Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? I identify as a chocolate bar. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. CNN . The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Knock knock! I LOVED THE ONE WITH THE OLD MAN/YOUNG MAN PEANUTS! I used to hate sweets but I came to love those because of you. Why don't bananas snore? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. A Choco-Light! Can I have chocolate filling please?. Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. Why did people make white chocolate? You're a chip off the old block (of cookie dough). I donut want to glaze over the fact that I like you a hole lot. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. Just ice cream. The list wont be complete without the knock knock jokes. Keep calm and eat cookies. my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. University of California-Berkeley Wellness Letter, We already know that increased consumption of fruits and vegetables results in an increase of antioxidants in our blood. I want to go to heaven when I die! Your email address will not be published. Because you are the sweetest. A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. Chalk-o-late! I can definitely make an adjustment for you. ChocoLATE. Sniggas. Furtiveness makes it better. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers The male whale recognized the ship that caught his dad whale a year ago. Whats the opposite of choco-late? You are 10x delectable than any sweet food I know in this world. Half dark and half light chocolate. I love it, I love it, I love it. Chocolate Chip Wookiee. Theres more to life than chocolate, but not right now. Chocolate JokesWhat did the M&M go to college?Because he wanted to be a Smarty.What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?Chocolate Chip Wookiee.Whats Snoop Doggs favourite chocolate bar?Sniggas.What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?They dont last long for fat people.Whats the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?A mootation.My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.Everyone got a piece.Why did people make white chocolate?So black kids could get dirty faces too.When it comes to stealing chocolate barsI have a couple twix up my sleeve.Kids these days are so stupid.They actually believe Ive got chocolate in my van. Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate? It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! Check out the list of chocolate jokes and puns! Q: Whats the technical difference between cacao and cocoa? The feeling of being loved can be a powerful one.